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Testimonial - for real [Jul. 4th, 2011|11:58 pm]

I have written some testimonials before, but they have always been solicited in some way - either I got a free sample, so I'm reviewing it, or there is a prize to be won by writing something flattering about a product.  Today I wrote my first unsolicited, just-because-I-so-freakin'-love-it testimonial.  It is for Noxzema.  Yes, Noxzema, that strong-smelling weird lotion-like cleanser that shows up in actors' dressing rooms rather often.  I don't use it as a cleanser, though.  I use it for the purpose it was originally invented for - sunburn.  I learned that the line is being sold to Unilever Corp.  I always worry that a new company is going to mess with something that's perfectly good the way it is, so I decided to write an unsolicited testimonial in hopes that Unilever will end up leaving good enough alone.

I tell the truth, here.  There is nothing that compares to Noxzema for sunburn.  What I didn't put in the testimonial, because it's sorta not PC, is the fact that Noxzema will eventually help your sunburn become a tan.  Tans are not well-liked in the PC context of health and beauty these days, so I left that out.  I suppose I should have mentioned how it keeps your burn from peeling, but I forgot that part.  Here is the text (short but sweet) of what I sent to the company's website:

There is nothing - NOTHING - that works to soothe sunburn like original Noxzema.  I know we're not supposed to get sunburned in the first place, but occasionally it happens, right?  I did not expect to end today with a lobster-like color covering most of my body.  But since it's there, I'm so glad I've got Noxzema!  I use it, my mom uses it, my sister uses it, my aunt uses it... and we recommend it to everyone!

At times I've recommended it only to find that folks were rinsing it off, which is lovely if you're using it as a cleanser.  But for sunburn relief let it soak in and leave it alone.  Slather it on a few times a day until the burn is gone.   

I admit to having tried to look elsewhere, to see if some new product is somehow the next epidermal miracle.  No.  It is not.  Nothing has surpassed Noxzema. 


On a side note, yeah, I stupidly let myself get totally sunburned today.  Apparently 15 minutes at mid-day (on each side) can make the difference between totally burned and not-burned.  Even in Connecticut.  Go figure.